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She is here
It's been a month. I'm sitting here, four weeks postpartum with my baby girl beside me, sleeping sweetly. So here is how it went: After...
Erin Jaye
Feb 12, 202510 min read


31 weeks of disbelief
It's been forever since I wrote last. And this entry makes me feel... uncomfortable. But the reality is that I need to push myself back...
Erin Jaye
Nov 12, 20248 min read


I don’t fully believe this is happening again
Only made it to 5 weeks this time, when I got the dreaded phone call from my GP on Friday afternoon. I was sitting in my car, happy and...
Erin Jaye
Jan 29, 20231 min read


The deepest melancholy of my life
It's the 23rd of January. This time a year ago we were so anxiously happy. It was a busy, happy time. Noah was about to have his first...
Erin Jaye
Dec 23, 20222 min read


The heart breaking meeting with the Prince Charles Hospital
Monday the 6th of June. It was a date I dreaded with all my being, and I had no idea how I would force myself back into that hospital...
Erin Jaye
Jul 29, 20225 min read


Losing myself to reality
Time stopped after my birthday. I withdrew into myself and the hyperproductivity abruptly ended. I sunk into a depression I never knew...
Erin Jaye
May 17, 20223 min read


Suri's put to rest...
In those early days, everything felt confusing. To be honest, that never really improved. I was in shock, I realise now. I became hyper...
Erin Jaye
May 10, 20222 min read


What came next
The first night we held each other, Adam and I. There was a pull out couch and when they found us trying to sleep together on a single...
Erin Jaye
Feb 21, 20224 min read


The Day After
I spent the night alone in the birthing suite. I was so weirdly concerned about the staff around me. They had been SO incredible and...
Erin Jaye
Feb 8, 20224 min read


The life and death of Suri
I think absolutely everyone in life has had a heartache of some sort. I remember when I was a teenager, the things that hurt me to the...
Erin Jaye
Jan 9, 202217 min read
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